This summer I will have been married to the love of my life for 13 years. 13 years!
I love that! I feel like we’re now an old married couple. Although I’m sure couples who have been married much longer look at us and think our marriage is still in its infancy, haha!
Not everyone knows this, but I was really sick during our wedding. We got married in Christchurch in England even though we lived in Sweden at the time. I’d been sick the week leading up to the wedding, mainly really bad nausea and lack of appetite.
Everyone either thought I was nervous about the upcoming wedding or that I was pregnant. I was neither, but at the time I thought maybe I was more nervous than I realised and this is how my body reacts?
Well, I don’t remember all that much about the wedding I was so focused on keeping myself together. And during our wedding night I got a really high temperature. Richard wanted to take me to the hospital, but since we were flying back to Sweden just two days later, I wanted to wait until we got back. We got back to Sweden and the same night I woke up with a sharp pain in my stomach and I was taken in to hospital. It turned out I had a abscess in my appendix.
I was in hospital for almost a week, and I was fine in the end and have been ever since.
But as I told this story to a friend of mine not that long ago, she asked me if we’d ever thought about renewing our vows? You know, to make up for the ‘ruined wedding’ so I can have a day to remember.
I told her that that thought had never crossed my mind.
And it hadn’t.
When we got married I had never even been to a church wedding before. And for some reason we decided to get married in England even though we lived in Sweden, which was a tricky ordeal in itself, nevermind I had very little idea of what a wedding is supposed to look like. We even forgot to send out wedding invitations! All we knew was that we wanted to be married to each other, and we weren’t to concerned with everything else.
If I had got married today, I would have done everything differently. Apart from the man I married; he would have stayed the same.
But here’s the thing:
I don’t think back on our wedding much at all.
We have some wedding pictures up and I can sometimes make a comment about how young we looked or something like that.
To some that might seem sad.
But I really don’t care to much about that day.
I got what I wanted out of it:
Who cares how the day actually went down when everyday ever since have been a blessing (well, mostly anyway) ? I wanted a loving marriage I can sustain every day, not just have One Great Day.
I don’t believe in “Great Days” If you put to much energy and focus in to one day, like a wedding, the birth of a child, a big party, Valentines day, what ever that seems SO important at the time, you might end up disappointed if things don’t go exactly to plan.
Like me being ill during our wedding,
Or someone planning on a natural child birth but end up having an emergency caesarean.
Think about what it is that you want out of that day.
For me it was a marriage, not a wedding. Hopefully when you give birth you want a child, not just a great memory of the birth.
And usually it’s the things you’re less worried or stressed about that end up being the best memories. Just chill and enjoy.
I’m not saying you can’t have both. Of course you can have a fantastic wedding day and a great marriage. And I really hope you do!
But I’m not bitter about the fact our wedding day didn’t turn out the way we’d planned. We’ve had plenty of memorable moments in our lives since that day.
That day was just the first day of our lives as husband and wife, and I am to busy with the rest of our journey together to be bothered by that one day.