Are you not feeling it today?
Feeling a bit low. Maybe don’t want to get out of bed. Don’t want to do much at all?
I get it.
I haven’t either.
Or I should say, I didn’t. Hence lack of new blog post in a while.
I have been in a bit of a funk for a few days, in fact it lasted over a week.
I got out of bed one morning to do my usual writing and it hit me: I’m not feeling it. I don’t feel like writing. In fact, I don’t feel like doing much at all!
This is not that unusual for me as the days get shorter, the mornings are darker and I feel more tired. It’s completely natural this time of year to feel more tired and it’s harder to find motivation.
And although I love autumn, there are still days where I feel completely lacklustre without an obvious reason why.
In fact, everything has been going well lately for everyone in the family.
I was simply just not feeling it.
It would have been ok if it had just been an ‘off’ day. We all have those. But this didn’t pass as quickly as I’d hoped.
I could have told myself to push through it, do all these things to help me improve my mood. And I did do them; I continued working out as usual, daily meditation and gratitude, but it didn’t help. And I didn’t want to push through it and try to ignore it.
I felt awful and I didn’t know why.
So what is a girl to do?
Well, this is what I did: I let myself feel what I was feeling. Without judgement. It is important to allow ourselves to feel sad or low from time to time.
But when it didn’t go by itself I had to take a step back and try to figure out why.
It is important to feel all the feels. There is no right or wrong feeling, we are completely in our right to have all kinds of emotions. But it’s equally important to look inwards to figure out why we feel how we do when the emotion is a negative or an uncomfortable one.
So, after realising that getting up early to write was pointless since I really didn’t feel like writing and all it did was making me more tired and resentful, I took a break. I set the alarm for an hour later for the next few days, I slept a bit more and took the pressure of having to get up mega early. Thinking that some extra sleep might help.
It didn’t really help.
All it did was making me feel incomplete when I didn’t get to start my day off my usual way. So I felt like I couldn’t win; I didn’t feel like doing much in the morning, so I didn’t, but then that made me feel like I hadn’t started my day right and made the rest of my day rubbish! AAargh!
Back to square one.
As I hope this blog is an inspirational one as well as a personal one, I think it is important that I also share my struggles. Most of the time I do try to live my life on purpose, and with a positive outlook on life, but some days, I find it a bit harder. I am only human after all. And I think it would be wrong of me to portray that I always live my life with a positive attitude, when in fact, I struggle too from time to time.
We can not all be happy and cheerful every day. That would be nice, but some days are a bit harder to get through than others. And that’s ok. As long as a day doesn’t turn in to bad weeks, months or even years. If it does, you might need professional help from a therapist or a doctor. Feeling bad and low all the time isn’t normal and it isn’t ok. You deserve to feel awesome.
But if you’re having a bad day, I encourage you to stop and feel why that might be. Explore that feeling.
I’m digging deep these days. When I have a negative feeling I dig until I can find the root of that feeling. Not necessarily in the moment, but after the feeling has subsided a bit, or if it’s lingering, I take a step back and think.
‘Where did that come from? Why do I feel so… hopeless, useless, sad, angry, irritated, anxious..?’ what ever the feeling might be.
Most of the time, for me, its lack self care;
I haven’t eaten well, or lack of sleep, or even just not having a few minutes to myself.
Rarely, it is due to other people, or my circumstance. Because I can not change other people, I can only change my response and my attitude. Sure, other people can annoy me, but how I react to others is down to me. And I am much more immune to other peoples negative behaviour when I’ve taken care of myself first.
We don’t have to be happy all the time. As long as we take full responsibility for the way we are acting and not blaming it on others or on our circumstances.
So if you’re not feeling it today. Ask yourself: Why?
And don’t try to belittle those feelings, for example; ‘I should be able to cope with this’ or “other people have it worse”.
You are absolutely entitled to your feelings. But you are also the only one who is responsible for making yourself feel better. No one else can fix you. As with everything, others can help and guide, but you have to do the work.
And most importantly, you are entitled to feeling awesome.