The first thing I did when my husband came home…

…Was to leave.

Don’t worry, it’s not as dramatic as it sounds.

My husband travels sometimes for work. Not all that often, I can’t complain, but a few times a year he goes away, both within Europe and the U.S. Usually no more than a week. This time he was away in America for 11 days.
And one week was during half term holiday, which means both our boys were home with me.
Both Joshua and Harry had a few activities going on during the week, but none of them at the same time, which meant I always had at least one of my boys with me, all day, every day.
It was fine though, it gave them some much needed space from each other, and I got some quality time with each of them, which was lovely. But it also meant I had NO time to myself.

I have to say, hats of to all you single parents out there, I do not know how you do it!
I was fine, I knew this was only for a week, and then would not only my husband be back, but the boys would go back to school. So I was fine with one intensive week. But to never get a break?! I don’t think I’d cope!
I don’t think of myself as an introvert, but I do need time alone to recharge my batteries.

Being a morning person, I always make sure I’m up early enough to fit in my essentials; (meditation, 5-10min yoga and journaling.) Without these, I can not start my day. If I’m up really early, I also fit in writing or a workout, especially if I have a busy day and know I can’t fit these things in later on in the day. Usually, during holidays when boys are home, I do all this in in the morning, before Richard goes to work, so that:

A. He can be there for the boys in the morning while I get my ‘me-time’
and
B. I’m free to spend the rest of the day with the boys.

Things were a bit different without Richard around last week.

Harry usually ends up in our bed in the early hours of the morning. It’s one of those things we need to work on, but I’m kind of expecting him to grow out of it. Joshua used to be the same a few years ago, but eventually stopped.
Harry always goes to sleep in his own bed, but sometime during the night, don’t ask me when because I’m sleeping, he creeps in to our bed. It’s quite cosy, if not a bit crowded. So in the morning, I sneak out of bed, while Richard and Harry stay and sleep or have a little cuddle.

If Harry wakes up, and no one is in the bed, he will scream the house down. That boy is quite content on his own a lot of the time, but first thing in the morning, he needs a lot of contact.
So rather than having Harry screaming and waking up upset and then spend the next half hour trying to calm him down, I opted to stay in bed with him in the mornings. Plus, it was really cosy.
Not that we stayed in bed late, we’re talking about 7-ish here, then I made sure that he was settled with something for 10-15min so I could do my essentials, but it left no room for anything else.

As I’ve written about before, our boys don’t really socialise much with other kids, not like most kids their age anyway. They don’t go out to see friends or have friends over. Not often and not without my supervision at least. They are with me all day, every day. So between them and housework, I had no alone time. Apart from in the evening when they had gone to bed. But, being a lark, I was exhausted by the end of the day and had no energy to do anything productive. I was dating Netflix for a week.

Like I said, it was for a limited time and I’m not complaining. I love my boys and spending time with them.
But I also longed for time to myself.

So when my husband came home on the Friday afternoon, I left.
Just for an hour walk.
Of course I said Hello to him, and yes of course I’d missed him, but as soon as he was in the door I was out.
I so craved to be alone with my thoughts.

img_5665
Me, myself and nature

Then I came home recharged and we all spent the rest of the weekend together.
For me it was a necessity. Everyone needs time to them selves.
I love my family, and I love spending time with them. But to be able to be the best version of myself, I also need some time alone.

So me, nature and a good podcast in my ears was what I’d longed for.

xx

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3 thoughts on “The first thing I did when my husband came home…

  1. I understand the need of alone time. It is vital to our sanity. My boys are homeschooled and the only me time I get is in the ahower…sometimes. my youngest like to sit in the bathroom until I get done. When he sleeps I have to be with him-naps too. I barely get anything done. My boys ages are 9, 4 , & 2. I crave alone time!!!

    Like

  2. That is a very interesting question that I get a lot and the answer is I don’t know! I try to sneak away while they’re all busy doing something but it seems like they have a radar for those times.
    p.s. sorry for the typos.

    Liked by 1 person

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