Day 3 of the 3 Day Quote Challenge

So today is the third and final day of the 3 day quote challenge.

Thank you again to Elize for nominating me to this challenge.

These are the rules:

1. For three consecutive days, you have to post a quote.

2. Acknowledge the blogger who nominated you.

3. Each day you have to nominate three different bloggers.

4. Let the blogger know that you have nominated them.

*You can acknowledge who you nominate by linking them to your post.

 

Today I nominate these bloggers to do the same

Jhaneel

Sara

Richard

Today my quote comes from a book called Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew by Ellen Notbohm.

I read this book early on on our autism journey, shortly after our boys were diagnosed. This quote has really stuck with me and I find that it applies to everyone, not just people with autism.

“All behaviour is communication” 

-Ellen Notbohm

Every thing we do is us trying to communicate something to others. Even if we are not aware of it ourselves, everything we do is communication of some form. I love this quote. It has really changed the way I see people.

 

So this was my last quote of this challenge.

Have a great rest of the week and I’ll be back with my usual blogging soon!

xx

 

Day 2 of the 3 Day Quote Challenge

Good morning everyone!

Today is day 2 of the 3 Day Quote Challenge.

Thank you to Elize for nominating me to this challenge.

My quote for today is one I’ve mentioned in another post of mine, but I love it so much I wanted to share it again. I think it’s a great reminder that we have to step out of our comfort zone in order to evolve as a person.

Today I nominate:

Eric

Cleardope

Ben

These are the rules:

1. For three consecutive days, you have to post a quote.

2. Acknowledge the blogger who nominated you.

3. Each day you have to nominate three different bloggers.

4. Let the blogger know that you have nominated them.

*You can acknowledge who you nominate by linking them to your post.

 

Have a great day and I’ll be back tomorrow with my last quote.

xx

3 Day Quote Challenge

Hi everyone!

I have a bit of a different post for you today (and the next two days)

I have been nominated by a fellow blogger to do a 3 day quote challenge. The challenge is to post a quote every day for 3 days and also nominate 3 other bloggers to do the same.

Here are the rules:

1. For three consecutive days, you have to post a quote.

2. Acknowledge the blogger who nominated you.

3. Each day you have to nominate three different bloggers.

4. Let the blogger know that you have nominated them.

*You can acknowledge who you nominate by linking them to your post.

Thank you to Elize for my nomination

Today I will nominate:

Anna

Heidi

Justin

My quote for today is from Gretchen Rubin:

 

I have to admit I had trouble finding my favourite quote from her because she’s got so many.

Have a good day and I’ll be back tomorrow with a new quote.

xx

My 12 Rules

 

 

Do you have rules?

Personal life rules you strive to live by or follow?

I’m sure you do even if you don’t necessarily think of them as rules. Some you might be aspiring to keep up, while others come naturally.

I didn’t really think about my rules until I read this book…, and I took the time to write them down. Some of them I’ve had for a long time but hadn’t necessarily thought about as ‘rules’, others I thought long and hard about and are what I’m striving to achieve daily.

They might not seem like particularly big daily tasks or goals, but they help me keep me on track to a better life.

These are rules about me, who I am, what makes me happy and healthy, and who I am aspiring to be. Writing them down makes them more real and easier to keep up.

Try it.
Sit down and think about what sort of person you want to be and write it down. But don’t copy mine, think about whats right for YOU.

These are mine. I try to follow them as closely as possible, sometimes I don’t because, well…life happens. But I still prefer to call them rules and not guidelines, because guidelines are so much easier to ignore whiles rules are something non negotiable (mostly). I will admit though, that rules 10, 11 and 12 are the ones I struggle with the most, but working really hard to achieve.

Here you go:

1. I get up at 5am on weekdays and 6am on the weekend. I spend my mornings meditating, writing, reading, doing yoga or working out.

2. I do some form of exercise daily

3. I meditate every day.

4. I drink at least 3 cups of green tea daily

5. I eat at least 7 portions of vegetables and fruit every day

6. I do yoga 2/week

7. I tell my husband and children that I love them every day

8. I plan my week ahead every Sunday.

9. I write in my journal every day

10. I will live my life every day on purpose, not by accident.

11. I will not complain. Change what I can and accept what I can’t

12. I can’t control other people, I can only control my own reaction

Why you should and shouldn’t count calories Part 2

A while ago I wrote part 1 of this article where I explained how it might be a good idea to count calories and keeping a food journal. If you missed that one you can click here

But having said all that,
All calories aren’t equal. It’s not as simple as calories in and calories out. Yes, we’ve all heard about people who’ve lost weight by eating nothing but McDonalds, but at what (health) cost? Managing calories are important but what you eat is also important.

So if calories don’t matter all that much, why did I write part 1 in the first place?
Well, because there are a lot of people who have no idea what they put in their bodies each day. How many calories are actually in the foods they consume. As I will explain in this post, it might not always matter all that much, at least not when it comes to whole foods but it’s a starting point to begin making smarter and healthier choices.

Calories aren’t everything.
Where are your calories coming from? Are you getting enough fruit and veg? Enough fibre and protein?

Basically, calorie balance (calories in = calories out), or a calorie deficit if you’re trying to loose weight, is not always as simple as it sounds.
When it comes to health and for most people, weight loss, I’d say calorie counting is about 60% of the whole picture.

Even if you think you are keeping a good balance, there’s another problem:
The calorie content presented on a food is not precise, it’s only an average. The true calorie and nutrition content can vary up to 50% (!) depending on the food.

Also, our body doesn’t absorb all the calories we consume, this varies depending on the type of food we eat and how it is prepared and cooked.

Lastly, everyone absorbs nutrients and calories individually. We are all different and so are our guts and our gut bacteria, which are the important parts of nutrient absorption.

So even if you DO keep an accurate food diary, chances are the actual calorie intake can vary quite significantly.

So, why am I bringing this all up if I’m just going to contradict myself?

Well, I think that keeping a food journal for a while is a good idea to get a good picture of what you eat. Having to look up the calorie and nutrition content of every food and measure your food accurately is time consuming yes, but maybe just start with writing down roughly what goes in to your mouth every day. After a meal, just write down what you actually ate. Then when you have a spare moment, you can check online for that food and when you get used to this a bit more you can get more precise with measurements and weights. This is just to get an idea of what you’re actually eating. Then you can start adjusting. Not getting enough veg? Have a look and see where you can probably fit another portion in tomorrow.

Like I said earlier, it might stop you from overdo it. When you know how many calories are in chocolate, it will probably prevent you from eating a whole 200g bar by yourself. Well, most days anyway 😉
What I don’t think is a good idea is to religiously count every calorie that goes in your body- for all the reasons I mentioned above. The same actually goes for the amount of calories we think we use up while exercising. That’s not an exact science either, and most people overestimate how many calories they are using by quite a lot.

So my conclusion is to not rely on calorie counting, but rather use it to estimate your intake keep you on track.
Any questions or thoughts on this? I’d love to hear from you!

xx

Our 10 year old toddler

Every time I think I might start moving my blog more towards health, fitness and mindset, which I love writing about, I get drastically dragged back in to our reality. To our autism reality to be precise. There’s just to much going on in an autism household not to write about it, ha!

So here’s what happened:

Harry peed on our carpet. Yep, you read that right; Our almost 10 year old peed. on. our. carpet. In our bathroom which already slightly smells of old pee might I add, from old toilet bowl misses by him and his older brother. But this was no miss, this was deliberate. (and yes, I clean and clean and it still smells)

As well as autism, Harry has speech and language delay which makes it very difficult to get him to explain why he does something. We’ve always struggled with this.
“Why did you wee on the floor, Harry?”
“I did a wee on the floor” is the answer
“Yes, Harry, We can see that, but why?”
“It was my potty”
Harry doesn’t use the ‘potty’. Harry has been using a toilet since he was 3.
I have no idea.

Harry is like a big toddler at times.
He’s very clever at certain things and ticking along well academically at school, well behind his peers in mainstream, but still, he’s progressing.

But he’s speech and language delay makes it very difficult to know exactly how much he understands about the world around him. Our biggest worry is that he doesn’t understand the difference between fiction and reality.
He saw Homer Simpson get his finger cut of; he laughed really hard and then went to the kitchen to get a knife to cut Joshua’s finger off!

There’s no consequential thinking: If I do This, then That will happen. If I cut Joshua’s finger off then it will be funny, just like on the Simpsons and I will laugh. Not: If I cut Joshua’s finger he will be in a lot of pain and we will have to go to hospital.
We are obviously trying to teach him consequences. But it is really hard to know how much he understands. And he will have a lot of trouble in his adult life if he doesn’t understand consequences.

Harry still hits other children. When he’s overwhelmed, confused, upset, angry. To be honest, we rarely know why he does it. It’s not all that often anymore, but I still can’t trust him around other children. I’m watching him like a hawk.

Harry is still ‘on’ everything. He needs to touch things. It’s a sensory thing, I understand that, but its frustrating that I can not just ‘let him be’. I need to know what he’s doing otherwise he might be doing something less desirable, like breaking things or drawing on the wall. Not long ago when he was upset he wrote swear words on the wall outside his bedroom. Yep, I had to re-paint that wall. The reason he wrote them was because we’d told him not to say them. Clever!  So he probably figured that that we hadn’t told him not to write on the wall, just “don’t draw on the wall”. This way he got to express his naughty words without actually saying them. He’s clever and can work things out, and we have to try to be two steps ahead all the time.

So sometimes he seems to understand perfectly well what he can and can not do and work a way around it. Other times he doesn’t seem to understand right from wrong at all. He might do/not do what we ask, but that’s because he doesn’t want the consequences we give him, not that he necessarily understand the outcome of an action. Just like a toddler.

His speech and language delay makes it very frustrating for him as he can not express himself as well as he’d like or we’d like. Sometimes this frustration comes out in violence or swear words, because in the heat of the moment he can not find another way to express himself. I feel so bad for him. I wish I could help him. And obviously we are, the best we can, but he will never ‘grow out of’ this disability. He will probably never speak without hindrance.

Harry also doesn’t understand the dangers around him. Without this logic that actions have consequences we have to try to explain to him in every scenario what might happen, and hope that he understands. Mostly I get the feeling that he doesn’t.
“Harry if you run out in to the road, a car might hit you and that will hurt”
Nope, we still can’t trust him.

He’s run off more times than I can count.
He has escaped our house on a few occasions.

One time when I was alone with the boys, I had locked every door in the house and thought it was safe for me to take a shower. I came out of the shower and find that he’s gone.
The clever escape artist managed to unlock the door from the kitchen to the garage, then unlock the door from the garage to our garden, make it over to the back gate, stand on an overturned plant pot, unbolt the gate and run off.

He’s like a very clever toddler. But a toddler none the less.
Even though he’s almost 10.
I love him to bits, but honestly, it can be exhausting!

xx

Patience

I love to grow and get out of my comfort zone. Sure it can be scary and I get very anxious (just ask my husband, ha), but I still do it.
Why?
Because thats how we grow as people.

So I joined a Crossfit gym (or “Box” as it’s called) here in town.
Was that out of my comfort zone?
You betcha!

For you who don’t know what Crossfit is, you can find out more here.

It is basically a workout programme that focuses on constantly varying functional movements at a high intensity. It’s attempting to improve at the 10 fitness domains:
Cardiovascular endurance, stamina, strength, flexibility, speed, power, coordination, agility, balance and accuracy.
It is performed in small groups with a qualified Crossfit coach. Every day is different, there’s a WOD (Workout Of the Day) which can be scaled back to suit any ability and fitness level.
Crossfit is HARD, but so much fun!

Anyway. On the wall in the Crossfit box there’s a poster where it says “Leave Your Ego At The Door”

Leave your ego at the door. Strive for progress, not showing off.

I love that!

Saying that, I struggle to leave my ego at the door.

Anyone who knows me knows I struggle with patience. Always have. Once I’ve made up my mind about something I would prefer it to be done yesterday.
I’ve never been patient, but I’m working on it and I think I’m getting better.

But I still struggle.

I’ve been lifting weight for years and I thought I was getting along ok. But then I joined Crossfit and boy, is that a humbling experience! I’m improving my technique on all my lifts and learning new ones.
It’s fun, but oh so challenging.
Especially since I have been scaling back a lot on weight training since injuring my knee. The past six months I have been lifting only light-ish weights and been very careful with the exercises I do so I don’t compromise my healing process or risk hurting myself even more.
So one would think that its only natural that I need to start with fairly light weights especially when learning new lifts.
I know this.

But I still struggle to leave my ego at the door.
I want to add weights on now. I want to improve now, not over the next 12 weeks. Or year!
I know, I know. Patience

And it’s not because I want to be as good or a strong as everyone else, or better. I don’t really care what everyone else does. This is my fight with myself.

I’m being told by other cross fitters and coaches that it takes time.
Be patient.
But still I struggle. I want to be able to do it.
I’m starting to think that my knee injury is a blessing in disguise because it’s forcing me to be extra careful. I would hate if I injured myself again.

I am more patient than I use to be though. Now I can admit this to myself and try to reason with myself when I get impatient.
I am a work in progress.
Progress not perfection.
I am working on leaving my ego at the door.

xx

Why you should and shouldn’t count calories Part 1

Calories always seem to be a ’hot’ topic and I thought I’d give you my views on them and calorie counting. It turned out to be quite a long post so I’ve divided it in to a 2 parter.
To begin with I thought I’d address why it might be a good idea to count calories and how to go about it.

A calorie is a unit of energy and usually we talk about calories regarding food.
Calories are not BAD like a lot of people seem to believe, we all need them.
Calories are essential for human health;
But everyone requires different amounts of energy (calories) per day depending on age, size, gender and activity levels.

I think its a good idea for everyone to have some idea of how many calories they need every day.
There are plenty of calculators for this online like this one, or just google it, tap in your numbers and voila!

I also think it’s a good idea to have a somewhat idea of how many calories we eat every day. A food diary is en excellent tool to help us understand roughly how many we eat.
I’m not saying you should keep a food diary forever, but just for a couple of weeks to get the idea. I’ve kept a food diary on and off for many years and by now I really don’t need to, I can pretty quickly work out in my head how many calories I’ve eaten.

It’s also a great tool to keep us in check, once you see how you’ve eaten you also see where you can cut back on the unnecessary calories. Keeping a food diary is a bit time-consuming of course but I think it’s worth it, like I said, its not forever, but I think it is important to know our own diet AND how many calories are actually in the food we eat. Most people have no idea how many calories are in different foods and there fore it’s hard to make the right (or better) choices.

There are plenty of apps for this, like my fitness pal, or you can go the old fashioned way and write it down on paper, or buy a nice food journal. Just be honest with what you’ve eaten, no one needs to look at it but you. At the same time its easy to see wether you get your 5/day in or not (preferably more). And trust me, you will ask yourself if you really need that second helping of apple crumble when you know you will have to write it down. It can still hold you accountable to make better choices, even if no one sees the food journal but you.

Start by just writing down what it is that you’re eating. You will need to write down as soon as you’ve finished eating. If you leave it to the end of the day to write down a whole days worth I can guarantee you will have forgotten exactly what’s entered your mouth that day.
Once you’ve got the hang of that you can start to look at what’s in the food in terms of calories, and add that to your food journal.

Again, having to look up every food item is a bit time consuming at first, but you’ll soon get the hang of it. You might also be surprised by the number of calories you consume on a daily basis! It might be a lot less than you should, or a lot more. Just be honest with your tracking, like I said no one needs to know but you. But it’s easier to adjust up and down once you have it down on paper (or on your app)

If you want any more help with how to get started with a food journal or any other questions I’m happy to help.

And look out for part 2…

xx

Today is a good day and my love for routine

It’s Tuesday after half term holidays and today both the boys are back at school. Back to ‘normal’, and I can get back in to my routine again. And writing!

I know it might sound boring, but I love routine. When things go back to normal.
I love planning and knowing whats coming next, what my day looks like, what next week looks like.
I honestly don’t know if this is good or a bad thing. I guess it can make me a bit boring and not spontaneous enough?

But I’m not rigid. I can change my plans and with effort maybe even my routine. My husband has learned by now that he just needs to give me to some time to come around to an idea. Let me sit on it for a bit, and unless there’s a valid reason for not doing it, I usually come around quite quickly.

But I love routine! I guess it feels like I have a bit of control over life if I know whats happening. Is it just me? Or am I a control freak? I don’t like uncertainties.
There are so many uncertainties in mine and my families life that I think I feel better if I can just control what I can. And routine is one way of doing that.

I find that I work best and am most productive when I have a routine and a plan to follow. Every Sunday I sit down with my journal and my calendar and I plan my week ahead. Not just appointments and events but also my intentions for the week. Even though I don’t have a traditional job, or maybe because of it, I need to find a purpose every day. To not just let another day go by where I don’t know what I’ve done that day. Except for keeping my family alive.

I don’t like big open spaces of time, like summer for example. Not knowing what the boys and I will be doing every day makes me anxious. Once Easter holidays is out of the way I can feel myself getting more and more tense by the day. I worry that I won’t be able to entertain the boys enough, that we’ll have to much empty time on our hands and they will spend far to much time in front of the computers, iPads or the Playstation.
I plan my week weeks in advance if I can. Things change of course and that’s fine, like I mentioned, just give me some time and I’ll come around to the change of plans.
I plan, but I find it hard to keep up a routine. But I should. That’s my goal for this summer.

When routine goes out the window I kind of fall apart. I become unfocused and I tend to not get anything done, I procrastinate and I feel bad for it. I need routine and plans and then I’m at my happiest, I feel accomplished at the end of the day.
And I am bad at keeping a routine when the boys are off school.

I try to keep my morning routine going, but as you might have noticed I don’t tend to post any blogs during school holidays. This is because that even though I still get up early, not as early as 5am because with both boys at home all day I need more sleep and they tend to stay up a bit later (not really waking up any later though) so I stay up later too. And I prioritise getting my workout done early before Richard leaves for work. It’s usually the only time I have to myself all day.
I still make sure I meditate and write in my journal every morning before my day starts:

But I need to find a way to keep my writing and other things up as well. If I tell myself I’ll do it ‘later’, ‘later’ never happens.

School holidays can be a nightmare. Not because I don’t want to hang out with my boys, I do, but trying to get them both on board to do something can be mission impossible at times. They both require a lot of attention and because none of them play with other kids outside of school, it’s down to me every day to make sure they are entertained. And if we don’t have anything planned, these days become vast open spaces of anxiety for me.
I know this is down to me. I probably should set up a better routine for holidays. If not else for my own sanity.

I have always loved the autumn, when boys go back to school and things go back to normal. But this year I will be better at keeping a routine for myself and the family even during the summer.
I have a few more weeks to go.

Today the boys went back to school.

Today is a good day.

xx